A core activity of Shamatha (or “calm abiding”) meditation is to continuously return the mind’s attention to the breath whenever we notice it has wandered into a thought or stream of thoughts.  One common reaction to the awareness that our mind has wandered is to feel we’ve “caught” ourselves not “doing it right.”  Feelings of self-judgment can build up such that by the end of our time sitting, we may feel discouraged to the point of believing that we “just can’t meditate.”  Given this, it’s no wonder people can find meditation difficult and lose faith in their ability to practice.

Fortunately, the attitude with which we return our attention to the breath is as critical as the act of returning itself.  Each time we find our mind has wandered, we gently and kindly return our attention to the felt experience of our breath and begin again, remembering we can take as many fresh starts as we need.  In this way, over time, we can develop and nurture an attitude of gentleness toward ourselves no matter how many times we find our mind has wandered or what sort of thoughts catch hold of the mind’s attention.

What’s more, this attitude of gentle kindness can move beyond our meditation practice and into our daily lives where many of us are so desperately need it.  And, as we develop this ability to be gentle with ourselves, we may find it more easily extends toward others in our lives, especially those we love most.  And so, whether it be meditation or another path, I hope you can find a way to treat yourself more gently in 2019 – that’s my wish for you this coming year, and for all your years beyond!

(Post photo is from a gentle stroll I took through Ecola State Park on the northern Oregon coast this past October.)